Today the perimeter had their first meeting, which took place over zoom. We discussed the idea and the importance of having a tribe of like-minded individuals with whom to depend on, and to share life. There were 5 of us in attendance. In this post you will find key notes and takeaways from the call.
The way we've grown to do things as a society has become vastly different than how tribal peoples lived when they inhabited these lands. A combination of marketing, societal expectations, technological advances, and our modern idea of success all do their part in shaping the way we live.
We get a false sense of closeness from social media, which can have great intentions for connecting people, but in reality revolve around generating money. Our holidays have been taken over by the binges of consuming food, and what we call 'entertainment'. It's become apparent that some of the only times we truly get together to live and to celebrate life with the people who matter to us are during births, marriages, and deaths.
In fact, weddings might be some of the only remaining candid experiences of tribal gatherings. At these events, two individuals gather the important people from each slice of their lives to celebrate the bond they are building. It's everyone that, if they weren't there, the couple would be mad at. It's an awesome thing, because you can really get to look into the couple's life, learn more about them, and have a heightened sense of connection to them. We get to meet the rest of this tribe we might not have even realized we were a part of, and it can be very easy to get along with other people at the event. It's sad, though, that this flavor of gathering doesn't happen more often.
During our early years of life, our public education systems, clubs, and sports programs do a pretty decent job of being structures to promote groups of like-minded people. Universities can also do a good job of forming bands of individuals with common interests and shared lifestyles. However, once we are out in 'the real world', outside of work, the remaining hours in the week can become messy with respect to the filters we apply to our circle of influence. It's a sad thing to meet up with friends -no, acquaintances- for lunch to catch up, and by the time the food is on the table, they're just asking us over and over if we've seen so-and-so's post on Instagram. We leave the interaction feeling uninspired, and drained of energy. Where do we find this group of people that live with a sense of purpose, and a sense of excitement about life?
It has become common to up-and-go, to leave your home town and the people with whom you grew up, and to start a brand new life somewhere else. Maybe it's just you, or maybe your significant other and your dog join you for this journey. This can be a really cool thing; there are other places with more opportunity that can help you grow your career, or to pursue certain interests.
However, it also takes away from the sense of community that you carry in your life.
One part of the problem is that we, as a culture and as a civilization, lack loyalty to the people and communities in our lives. Once we make that decision to leave our childhood home with our nucleated family, we often depend on a significant other and a best friend (sometimes the same person) to fulfill a myriad of social roles for us. This can be unhealthy for them because it loads excess pressure on them. This can also be unhealthy for us because it impedes on our ability to achieve a level of self-actualization.
Our group defines self-actualization (the highest level in Maslow's hierarchy of human needs) as the pursuit of one's potential, their self-expression, and the impact they have on their society. We once had to defend the most basic of human needs with our lives. Survival was the ultimate motivator. In today's luxurious, modern world, the majority of these needs are handed to us, and we often sit comfortably without motivation to pursue, to express, to impact.
In order to achieve this need, we have a necessity, especially as young men, to form brotherhoods of like-minded individuals. These brotherhoods band together behind a shared way of life, with the intent of pursuing a common goal. They hold each other accountable, they encourage each other to take action in their lives, and they share formative experiences that help them grow into the men they aspire to be.
Moving forward, we ask ourselves what kind of men we want to be, and what we want our tribe to look like.